How Long?

My soul is in deep anguish.

How long, Lord, how long?

Psalm 6:3

How long, Lord, how long?

How long will I have to wait?

How long will you delay?

Will it be days or months, could it be years or decades?

Will it be a brief, passing moment?

Or will I have to get used to a new paradigm?

I continue to cry out to you, so I must believe that you are listening

But am I confident that you will not just listen, but answer?

That you will act on my behalf

I wonder what the tipping point of my rescue will be

Will it come suddenly, like an unexpected windfall?

Or will it be slow, barely recognisable, as the changing of seasons?

The question, how long, begins to evolve into other questions 

Why haven't you answered?

Why do you seem to help others and not me?

Am I kidding myself that you are real?

Is this all my own fault?

And the worst accusation of all, do you not care?

Will these questions cause me to give up before your help comes?

Will I have decided that the cost is too high?

Will I simply forget you and seek help elsewhere?

But for the moment, I return to the question

How long, Lord, how long?

For my soul is in deep anguish 

Truth

I speak words, but are they true?

Do they reveal an inner reality or an outward lie?

Are they expressed integrity or hidden duplicity?

Maybe the real question is not are my words true, but are they truly me?

I smile, but has the look on my face made my feelings known?

Or have my facial muscles been dragged into a game of cover up?

Is the smile an overflow of heart, or a decision of will?

Is my heart smiling or is it only my face?

The question comes as it always does, 'How are you?'

I always wonder what answer they want or expect

Do they really want a truthful response?

What will I say?

Part of me wants to simply answer as normal, 'fine thank you'

But I really want to be honest, to be vulnerable 

However, I am concerned that they will look down on me

That I will diminish in their eyes

So, the key questions that I keep dragging into my consciousness:

Who am I?

What am I doing?

What is important?

I want to be provoked to think more, to think clearer, to think deeper

To be unsatisfied with unsatisfactory answers 

To refuse to accept the unacceptable 

To be unwilling to compromise with the compromised

You desire truth in the inner parts, in my inner parts 

Not just an acknowledgment of truth but truth rooted deep within me

That overflows to be a blessing to others 

And brings glory to the King of Truth

Satisfied?

Mankind is 'the only animal whose desires increase as they are fed; the only animal that is never satisfied.' (Henry George, nineteenth century American economist)

We are the only animal, whether born or whether bred

Whose desire for satisfaction increase as we are fed

We long for real contentment, we always yearn and crave

But our longing does not satisfy, it is us that they enslave

The urges deep within us are never satisfied 

They only stop afflicting us the day when we have died

To have passion is not the problem, our focus is the key

What are we working hard to find, what is it that we see?

We seek out compensation for the challenges that we face

A little bit of happiness along the road we have to race

But joy seems but impossible, it never stays or lasts

A small measure of hopefulness in a world that seems so vast

Some realise quite early, others never seem to know

That things and stuff and goals and cash aim high but hit too low

How could our own possessions, or adverts on TV

Succeed in bringing peace and calm to any real degree?

So, seek the master's kingdom and all his righteousness 

Your hopes and dreams and all you need will be the Father's 'yes'

So, as we pursue his glory, the great exchange occurs

I lay my soul before him, on me his life confers 

Holding the future

Whatever the future holds, I know who holds the future
Whatever I will have to face, I know who has faced it before

Whatever temptations I will need to overcome, I know who has been tempted before me

He has been where I am going

He has felt what I will feel

He has heard what I will hear

He has seen what I will see

Nothing that I will have to deal with, has not already been dealt with

No challenges

No confrontations 

No demands

No threats

Have not already been experienced by the master

My way may seem dim and faintly lit to me

But is clearly visible to him

My experience may be like working with a broken sat-nav

He knows where he is going and which road to take

I can be so focused on the destination that I forget to enjoy the journey 

He lives in the moment every step of the way

I need to be still, to be quiet, to cease the constant activity

To be confident that I will be able to run my race, at the right pace and at the right time

And as I cross the finishing line hear him say 'well done"

Regret

He passed away, to no one's regret

2 Chronicles 21:20

He passed away

He ceased to breathe

His body now empty of all but flesh

The way of all the world had come his way

He had caused so much death, but now it had arrived on his doorstep 

In life as in death

Lonely and alone

No one cared

Not friend or child, not wife or lover

No one would miss him

People that had bowed at his footstool 

We're now glad that he had gone

His bucket had been truly kicked

He was dead and deadened 

He had been raised up but was now erased 

He had decreased and was now deceased 

He had gone off the rails and was now gone for good

He had no honour

No help in his affliction

No support in his misery 

He showed no remorse

No penitence

No apology

No admission of guilt

What then was his legacy?

He opposed the purpose of God

There would be no burial with the kings 

No one regretted his demise 

Fully human

For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way

Hebrews 2:17

What does it mean to be fully human? Each society has to grapple with that question as it seeks to mould its various communities in an acceptable way. The answer to this question, whether explicitly or implicitly considered, will impact how societies develop. We only need to consider Nazi Germany in the thirties to realise that your view of what it is to be human can have profound and fundamental consequences.

The writer to the Hebrews says that Jesus 'had' to be like us and that he was 'fully human in every way.' So, Jesus is fully God and fully human, we are not fully God, but we are fully human. There was no other option for Jesus to pursue, he became human, not for a short period but for all eternity, to fulfil his father's will

To be human is to:

• Exist in one place at one time
• Be made of carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, etc
• Be unable to cause yourself to come into existence 
• Be created from the DNA of a father and a mother
• Have various needs
• Oxygen
• Food
• Water
• Rest 
• Light
• Shelter
• Be loved by God
• Have intrinsic moral value
• Be part of a family / community
• To love and to love

To answer the question 'What is a Human Being?', has also been answered in various other ways

"An intelligence served by organs." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

"But breath and shadow, nothing more." (Sophocles)

"The only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are, and what they ought to be." (William Hazlitt)

"The only animal that contemplates death, and also the only animal that shows any sign of doubt of its finality." (William Ernest Hocking)

"The only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve." (Erich Fromm)

"The only animal whose desires increase as they are fed; the only animal that is never satisfied." (Henry George)

If we want to know what it is to be human, the best way is to look at and learn from Jesus

Job

One day when Job's sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, a messenger came to Job and said, “The oxen were ploughing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, and the Sabeans attacked and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!”

While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, “The fire of God fell from the heavens and burned up the sheep and the servants, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!”

While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, “The Chaldeans formed three raiding parties and swept down on your camels and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!”

While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, “Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!”

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:

Job1:13-20

The big question after all of Job's troubles was 'what would he say?' How would he respond to the calamity? What would be the overflow of his life in the midst of tragedy? The pain of loss would open his heart, what would seep out?

“Naked I came from my mother's womb,

and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;

may the name of the Lord be praised.”

Job 1:20,21

His response came from a humble heart, one that had been shaped by his desire to walk with God in wholehearted devotion. Job does not dance around the difficult issues; he faces them head on. His faith is not a crutch to lean on, his faith points him to a person to lean on. We all need something to lean on, something to trust in difficult times, but rather than trust our faith we are to trust God.