How Long?

My soul is in deep anguish.

How long, Lord, how long?

Psalm 6:3

How long, Lord, how long?

How long will I have to wait?

How long will you delay?

Will it be days or months, could it be years or decades?

Will it be a brief, passing moment?

Or will I have to get used to a new paradigm?

I continue to cry out to you, so I must believe that you are listening

But am I confident that you will not just listen, but answer?

That you will act on my behalf

I wonder what the tipping point of my rescue will be

Will it come suddenly, like an unexpected windfall?

Or will it be slow, barely recognisable, as the changing of seasons?

The question, how long, begins to evolve into other questions 

Why haven't you answered?

Why do you seem to help others and not me?

Am I kidding myself that you are real?

Is this all my own fault?

And the worst accusation of all, do you not care?

Will these questions cause me to give up before your help comes?

Will I have decided that the cost is too high?

Will I simply forget you and seek help elsewhere?

But for the moment, I return to the question

How long, Lord, how long?

For my soul is in deep anguish